...about a 24 year old guy who's almost ready to accept himself...or so he thinks

Friday, January 18, 2008

...ode to a fragmented post

So I've been pretty M.I.A. the last week or so, and am finally getting a chance to catch up on the blogging world. I have many things on my mind and that I would like to share.

First - Google Reader - I'm sure many of you know about the wonders of this application, yet for those new to the blogging world I recommend you check it out. It can be a daunting task to find and read new posts on your favourite blogs and Google Reader gathers this information all in one place. Seriously, if Google could somehow take over the world, all would be good again.

Second - my best friend has recently returned from vacation with her family so I've spent a lot of time catching up with her and other friends. It seems like every night there is a group of us doing dinner, or going to the bar, or just chilling at someone's house. I realize that I have the best group of friends a guy could ask. We are super comfortable and can tell each other anything - well, almost anything. I am very afraid that when I tell them I'm gay, it will somehow change the whole dynamic of the group, that I will feel responsible for this, and that we will grow apart from each other. I love the way it is right now...we just seem to play off each other and have great times together. I don't know what I would do if this changed.

Third, GREAT NEWS over at Coming to Terms as he came OUT to his brother. OUT! So awesome and great job buddy. I look forward to hearing more.:)

Fourth, Steve - I feel your pain about your grandparents. I too have family that (even when I'm out to my immediate family and friends) I will never tell that I'm gay. It is a real shame to have to do this, but when you know people won't change their ways it's better to hang on to what you have. This is especially true when your relatives are older and old fashioned. They love you so much, and you them, and you just want things to stay the same. I know some people say you have to give people a chance to change and accept and love you for who you are, but I think in some cases you just know this isn't possible. Anyways, if you're reading this, I know it sucks huge but try not to let it get you down.

Second to last, on Tuesday my sister brought over her gay friend and his boyfriend for dinner (Adam and Cody). My immediate family and some other friends were also present. It was a great time, albeit Cody was almost too talkative and thought he knew everything about anything. Cody got on my nerves and I even needed to leave the room at one point to refrain from putting my frustration into words. Anyway, after Adam and Cody left, no one said anything about them being gay, but instead treated them as a normal couple. A family friend even stated that Cody was a "know-it-all", but that was ok if he treated Adam well. I thought this was awesome, because I wasn't sure what the family friend thought about us homosexuals. I mean, when she tells stories about gay people that in no way have anything to do with their sexuality, she makes a point of stating their orientation. For example: "My friend's son...is gay but is very nice...is in school for medicine and is finding it really tough right now." The point of the story is not that he's gay! This frustrates me when this happens and I usually end up leaving the room. Tuesday's dinner, though, went very well and it was nice to see family and friends interact normally with my sister's friends (who are gay by the way, but very nice:)). On a side note: thank goodness they weren't hot and I didn't have to worry about staring and drooling.

And finally, I've been checking out Soul Seared Dreamer's blog. Every time I hit up his website I am pleasantly surprised. I wish I knew how to make my blog fun like that. Check it out - you'll know what I mean.

And so this brings to a close my very fragmented post. This seems to be the way my brain is working lately - kind of all over the place.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey there! I've been reading your blog for some time now. It really helps to know others are going through VERY similar situations, and with such positive progress. Thank you for sharing.

Saying so and so is gay in a conversation doesn't bother me as much anymore, but It's so nice to hear a conversation without pointing out that the person is gay-unless he is hot and single ;-)

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

Hey thats great.. at least your folks might not hit the wall.. pity is you can never really tell how people will react when they find out someone is gay esp when we've gone out of our way to keep it secret.. sometimes I think I wish I were camp and it was obvious.

Same goes for your friends, tell them when your ready.. it may very well change the dynamic.. it might be better for all you know.. with girls esp I find the relationship often deepens.. guys are a little less predictable.

Thanks for the reference.. I'm getting kinda tired of close to naked Nick.. I can give you the HTML code for the background I use if you want it.. its not as hard as you might think... as long as you have patience, time, a good imagination and are experimental.